A dear, long-distance friend sent me a book out of the blue a few months ago. She said that it had really spoken to her and hoped there would some useful tidbits I could take from it, too.
When “Playing Big” by Tara Mohr arrived, I wasn’t sure what to think. I had seen the author interviewed briefly a while back, but I wasn’t interested in becoming a ‘powerful business woman.’ I decided to start reading the book though, since it had been a gift.
I was immediately enthralled!
It was much more meaningful and thought-provoking reading than my usual light-hearted Nora Roberts’ novels! (Go figure.)
I’d read a few lines or a paragraph, then reflect and record a quote or an impression. The reading process was slow which helped me internalize certain messages I really needed.
I soon realized this book has powerful life lessons for every woman; it’s not directed solely for business-minded women after all.
One of my favorite points Tara (we are on a first name basis now) shared is to envision my future self, or ‘inner mentor’ as she calls it. “You can think of your inner mentor as a part of you that is whole, centered, loving. You can think of her as a vision of the woman you are growing into, a vision of a more evolved future self.”
There is an exercise that can help you envision, observe, even converse with your own inner mentor. While it didn’t work for me exactly how I had hoped, it did enable me to identify some specific attributes, habits and even interests I desire to have in my future self.
The key is to keep this amazing future version of you in your thoughts, decisions and actions. As Tara says, “After I met my inner mentor, when I was faced with an important decision I’d ask myself, which of these roads moves me closer to becoming that woman I saw?”
I love that even small choices — which often lead to more significant ones — are affected by pondering what my future (more complete) self would think or do or wear or say. This has given me a boost of confidence in myself and my decision-making skill to start (or continue) down the path that will lead to becoming my best self.
Wear that super cute but out-of-my-comfort-zone outfit? My future self would, so I will too. Choose not to react or be hurt by that offensive comment? She would, so I can too. Realize and question why I’m hoarding so much STUFF in my house when I’m sure her house is beautiful yet minimally filled.
Consciously being a little more patient because my future self is much more patient than I am today.
This reinforces my ongoing goal of doing 1 thing each day that scares me, brings me joy, challenges my body, nourishes my spirit or focuses on others. Doing one, or several, of these is not easy; it pushes me.
Wait, you mean it pushes me to become a better me?! Bingo.
Small steps? Yes. But, each step leads me down a path I am intentionally choosing and maneuvering. It’s a path that is transforming me along the way.
Because, as Tara Mohr reminds us, “We can’t be what we can’t imagine.”
P.S. I paid it forward and recently ordered this book for my sister!
How do you imagine your future self? What are you doing TODAY to become her?